Written today in response to an eponymous post at K-Dad:
Scott,
To connect your meditations on husband-wife relations to dad relationships for teaching children, I’d like to add a parent’s perspective on nude-prude, and what children learn about it from us. I came back last night from a long weekend of media-heavy dance performance classes and competition. We took a chartered busload (of kids, chaperones and adult dancers who all treat each other as extended family) three hours to an urban hotel with all the costumes, props and gear to perform more than a dozen big musical theatre production numbers for world-class entertainment industry master teachers. (All male in this case.) Several studios and performing arts schools did the same, almost exclusively girls.
My extremely innocent, unselfconscious, always unschooled young son is the only male dancer in our company this year. He actually had two stuffed animals in his dance bag, to sit with quietly during the longer waits. But a VERY nasty scene over his “sex” ensued in the ballroom designated as the common dressing room for all the studios, during Saturday evening’s adjudicated performance, when a mom spitting venom from across the ballroom shrieks at our group, “will someone GET that boy OUT of here! My daughter’s in puberty, and he can’t see her business!”
Her own daughter began to cry in humiliation. Indeed her “business” was visible if you’d been looking, because those dancers apparently hadn’t been taught about a nude-colored leotard-like garment called a camisole, that female dancers wear under all their costumes so that no one CAN see their “business” during changes. Our dancers have changed quickly and unselfconsciously in hallways when no dressing room was available, their only concern being to keep themselves unseen by the AUDIENCE until their next performance, but not unseen backstage by other players male or female — an appropriate detachment from backstage theatrical nudity as sexual is something young performers need to learn.
Apart from that, this prudish mom might have had a legitimate concern if some male did gain access to the dressing room and begin leering or perhaps flashing his OWN business at the girls. The facts were though, that my son isn’t in puberty, doesn’t know or care about sex differences yet, and didn’t even know she was yelling about him. He was obediently running through a bit for the next big number with several of our adult female dancers, one of whom is a high-ranking law enforcement official IRL. He certainly was not checking out anybody’s “business!” And he wore the nude-colored male equivalent of a camisole, called a “dance belt” so no little girls would see any of his business. . .and then changed in the men’s bathroom anyway.
I don’t comment to elicit practical suggestions about separate male dressing rooms or whatever — that’s the policy level of the issue, and there are various solutions already under discussion. My point here is what’s in people’s heads, harmful ideas and beliefs that policy cannot fix. Stuff that hurts children when parents and teachers and role models get it all twisted. You have to THINK, not just take the written rules and beat each other over the heads with them until the stronger, louder, ruder, more heavily armored warriors are left standing.
I can’t give you a full power of story interpretation yet, but I just had to comment for K-Dad while it’s fresh — to me the obscenity was hers and it was spiritual, not really flesh-based at all. Her prudish and self-righteous hysteria, about skin and eyeballs and biological differences, completely missed the deeper magic (like Aslan versus the White Witch) — modesty, self-control, courage, family, compassion, civility, conflict resolution.
Humanity, not nudity. We could have been flagged by the event’s authority for a technical violation, sure, but she violated the IMPORTANT rules as parent, teacher and adult role model.
JJ
More Politics as Theatre
28 01 2007UPDATE – politics may be theatre but poetry isn’t democratic! From Sunday’s NYT book review of a sixties-era indulgence titled, “The Bourgeois Poet”:
“Very early on a poet is struck by the cruelty and lack of democracy in the arts — so few get it all, and the hordes receive nothing but the pleasure and pain of an overdeveloped consciousness. . .” OTOH, it’s not much less cruel or more “democratic” for the hordes of overdeveloped but languishing senators who would be king . . .
Regular readers will recognize this staple from my idea pantry. There’s really no such thing as “political science.” Politics like the rest of life and culture, is Power of Story. Without Power of Story, there can be no education, only schooling. It takes power of story to change children from wooden or leaden demographics into Real Boys and Girls.
Some random ingredients I’ve been stirring into electoral and educational side dishes:
New today – presidential politics as story and theatre, not science
This time last year – “Amplifying Our Differences: Schlocky Political Theatre”
Childhood stories are deeper and poetry truer than electoral politics, imo. And demonstrating that musical theatre explains more than mere politics – “Musical Theatre as Shocking School Culture” and right here at Snook, see education politics using theatre as a football in a post I slugged as “Expelling Urinetown (Pun Intended)” . . .
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