Snook Scoops World! Maverick McCain’s Running Mate Revealed

27 07 2008

Think about what we know that’s been in plain sight all along and you too, won’t have to wait for the formal McCain VP announcement.

It makes perfect political and strategic sense. It’s a Democratic Year, right? So he has to pick a Dem and that lets Lieberman out. (Not to mention that standing together they are old and short and goofy-looking.)

Just picking Bill Clinton alone would be unconstitutional, having already served his allotted full terms as prez. And just picking a woman alone — even Hillary herself — isn’t sexy and historic enough, now that Hillary already got more votes than anybody ever, by her own count. She shattered that glass ceiling and broke all the china too, so Day One was yesterday at 3 am. Old news.

But a COUPLE for VP?
This will truly be history-making, groundbreaking, not an individual but a couple as McCain’s VP. The Next Food Network Star pioneered this historic approach since our last presidential election — picked a gay couple as “the” winner of its individual contest for “a” new host. The 2008 finale of this year’s competition is TONIGHT (which is why Snook is announcing McCain’s pick today) and btw instead of a two-person race this year, it’s another first — three finalists instead of two, one white, one black, one girl!

And what great advice Steve and Dan, the “First Couple to Share a One-Host Show Slot” could offer presidential candidates:

What advice would you offer the next round of contestants?

No one wants to see a fake persona on TV. Don’t try to figure out how to win or what [the system] “needs.” Being yourself is the only way to go. It’s that way with each of the [reigning] personalities. When you meet Paula, Rachael, Tyler, they’re the same people you see on the air.

So back to that other reality show competition, the 2008 presidential election — here’s another solid reason for picking Billary as McCain’s VP and doing it now: strategically, McCain is taking the historic three-president advantage off Obama’s options table. Obama had his chance when Billary was throwing him-herself at his feet (head?) but he apparently couldn’t commit, be bold and decisive enough. We noticed how McCain’s been accusing him of waffling and not being tough and daring enough. Again, this sets McCain up as the Early Decider on the Road Less Traveled.

John McCain has plotted a Surge Strategy to win another unwinnable war (the 2008 election.) His military thinking has served him well to date. When you rush into a losing race and you’re losing big, of course conditions on the ground call for more rather than less. Double the troops as soon as possible, whatever the cost. Or even triple them! Why send just one VP pick into the fray if you can send two? And this way he gets his own set of married lawyers to cancel out the Obamas, PLUS himself as an apparent free bonus for all the penny-pinching geezers in the electorate, who llikely will make the difference this year. The economy is Number One between now and November, everybody knows that.

Thinking Parents really paying attention instead of just shooting off their talking points at each other, were able to figure this out independently. Once we think something through together, we don’t need no steenkin’ badges with celebrity smiles printed up side by side to confirm it, we just know. (Three on a badge will be a little crowded come to think of it, but historic!)
So we’re announcing it here first.

Maybe the badges can make enough room for three faces, by only using one name and no party affiliation?
Vote McClintagain.

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3 responses

27 07 2008
Nance Confer

At last! Some clear thinking about the Presidential race! 🙂

At least McCain would get the attention he’s been begging for lately.

Nance

27 07 2008
JJ

I might have overlooked one key piece of intelligence though — what if they’ve already split, and that explains why we haven’t seen him since she conceded?

If they’re no longer a real couple, there goes the wow factor and she’s just another Dem pantsuit . . .then he might as well pick Ferraro, and justify it by saying it was her turn before Hillary’s?

28 07 2008
JJ

OTOH, the Next Food Network Star made history AGAIN last night — they picked the black man! 🙂

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