And Now the Label “Married” Is In for Further Moral Meddling

3 02 2009

I knew it. I knew it wasn’t just the gays that these patriarchal oh-so-moral Identity Definers and Compulsory Crusading Life Coaches were after.

Now they are after me. MY marriage. Taking away not only my choice to be a parent or not, and when and with whom, but now my choice to stay married or not. Now because of their own private religious beliefs, “they” want to protect marriage not just from being entered into by homosexuals but from being ended by heterosexuals — they are after my perfectly legal in Florida but damned wrong to them, no-fault D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

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12 responses

4 02 2009
sam

Making divorce illegal would do as much to save the ideal of marriage and to protect families as continuing to disallow gay people to marry. And really, divorce should have been their target long before they worried about the gays.

4 02 2009
Nance Confer

About as effective as making abortions illegal.

OTOH, maybe I better run out and get divorced before it’s illegal.

Nance

4 02 2009
Crimson Wife

Where in that linked article did it say anything more than premarital counseling? I had to do that in order to get married in my church, and I’ve found it very helpful during the decade I’ve been married. So long as there’s a secular option available for those couples who prefer one, I don’t see why anybody would object to it. Many divorces could be avoided if people knew how to better communicate with their spouse.

Also, the questionnaire can help spot “irreconcilable differences” BEFORE the couple weds. My DH and I dated for over 3 years before we got engaged, but there were still a number of responses that came as a surprise. None of them were deal-killers for us, but it was still good to talk them over before we said our vows.

The “no-fault” divorce ship sailed long ago, and it’s extremely unlikely that any attempt to change the existing divorce law would be successful.

4 02 2009
JJ

CW, that was the only link I found online yesterday afternoon, but I heard it on two radio stations (one NPR and the other conservative talk) — both had the same spokesman for this group saying they were just starting with the church counseling but then their intent was to end no-fault divorce, and make divorcing much more difficult, because marriage should be protected.

4 02 2009
JJ

LOL Nance, I briefly had that same thought. Quick, before it’s too late!

5 02 2009
Nance Confer

CW, you are correct. Getting to know your spouse before marriage would be a huge help.

DH and I lived together for 13 years before we married. We had ironed out most issues by then but, I have to admit, he still gets things wrong sometimes! 🙂

I’m not sure counseling would do as good a job as just living through a car breakdown or a budget crunch or a stomach flu or meeting relatives or moving — any of those big stresses people have. And I’m sure it shouldn’t be required.

But it couldn’t hurt, I guess.

Nance

5 02 2009
JJ

But the point isn’t whether we think it’s a good idea, or figure it’s at least harmless.

The point is whether “church” decides rules for “state” (didn’t we answer that quite clearly at the Founding of our union?) and the life-wrecking harm we have seen inflicted when it does. Difficult or impossible divorce makes women and children into patriarchal hostages imo.

5 02 2009
Nance Confer

Well, the getting to know one another idea is a good one.

Requiring anyone’s church to have anything to do with it or allowing anyone’s church to make divorce more difficult — aren’t enough couples already trapped in a house they can’t sell? — are horrible ideas.

Of course, we don’t let people die in peace. Why should divorce be any different?

Nance

5 02 2009
JJ

Interesting analogy — oh, I know! Funeral home regulations are to address the physical and emotional toxicity of a dead body if not handled properly, right? So we could say a dead (or already toxic before death) marriage should get the same sensible social handling, you know, swift, humane and professionally discreet primarily for the benefit of family members and friends, but also for the general public’s quality of life!

Or did you mean the consensual giving and taking of life into or out of one’s own body, hmmm . .yes, those policies need to conform to the above too, imo. 😉

11 02 2009
JJ

Ultraconservative Baptist Floridian former Congressman and current talk show host Morning Joe Scarborough is divorced and remarried, with children by both wives. Wonder whose side he’ll be on, in this culture of marriage war?

29 07 2009
Rules, Authority, Control: It’s the Power, Stupid « Cocking A Snook!

[…] And Now The Label “Married” Is In for Further Moral Meddling […]

8 11 2010
Homeschooling D-I-V-O-R-C-E With Children « Cocking A Snook!

[…] how can we fight over divorce without first fighting over marriage, and when or whether there will be children of that union — conceived, born, adopted, […]

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