Fencing Poem Especially for COD and Son Breck

22 11 2009

We had a flood in the laundry room last weekend so it’s been a harrowing week of sorting, cleaning, tossing, throwing out wet carpet and ruined stuff, bringing in new equipment, checking to see if we need a new floor.

Anyway, today in my labors I got to a top shelf secreting some of my own old high school notebooks, where I came across a poem written in limerick form about my (then-new) sport.

I was maybe 17?
Thought Breck might enjoy laughing at the kid I was —

What Every Young Fencer Should Know

A fencer should always remember
To try not to pierce or dismember,
And if while on strip
Your opponent should trip,
It’s considered polite to yell “Timber!”

A fencer who falls into doubt
When losing a zero-four bout,
Should never despair,
Although well aware
That another touch means you’re wiped out!

And if as you launch your attack,
Your chances of scoring are black,
It’s perfectly nice
To slyly entice
Him to turn while you puncture his back!

It’s better to dodge and to duck
Than to pray and depend upon luck —
A chicken defense
Makes much better sense
That sticking around to get stuck.

Equipment that’s safe is the key
To ending a bout healthily —
A mask with a hole
Could sure take its toll
By making your nostril-count THREE!

Though breastplates are surely a must,
No female-type fencer should trust
To just those alone,
Else when she gets home,
She might find her bust has been bust!

It’s hot when you’re knickered and socked;
In plastron and jacket you’re locked.
But don’t let your chest
Perspire on your vest
Unless you don’t mind getting shocked!

–JJ circa 1972, long before she added the “Ross”



2 responses

23 11 2009

I’m assuming you didn’t turn that in for a poetry class? 😉

I can’t imagine hanging on to stuff from back then. I’ve got my high school yearbooks, and that is it!

23 11 2009

You got that right! Probably couldn’t have graduated if I had — although everything WAS very loosy-goosy in those years.

About hanging onto high school stuff though, you did hang onto to some friends from back then, besides the yearbooks? And now we’re all old enough to look back and laugh at each other and ourselves for those fragments of our developing stories, one of the few rewards of getting old! 😀

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